When a Herpes Diagnosis Feels Like It Changes Everything

You can’t sleep. You’ve been lying in bed, phone in hand, scrolling endlessly. Searching for answers. For hope. For a way to rewind time.

When you found out you had genital herpes, something shifted inside you. Maybe it felt like the ground dropped out beneath you. Maybe you felt shame. Rage. Helplessness. Maybe all three.

You’re doing your best to keep things together—you’re still getting your work done, still showing up—but it feels like a thin mask barely covering a mountain of panic. You’re not just dealing with a diagnosis. You’re dealing with the fallout: the fear of rejection, the loss of confidence, the silence you’ve been holding because you don’t feel like you can talk to anyone.

And now the thoughts that loop in your head all night:

• “My sex life is over.”

• “Who would want to date someone like me?”

• “I’m too ashamed to tell anyone.”

• “I’m scared I’ll be alone forever.”

If that’s where you are right now, I want you to know: you’re not broken, and this doesn’t define you.

You don’t know who to talk to because you don’t want to be judged and you don’t think anyone will understand. But this shame feels heavy and you feel like you need help.

Therapy for Straight Men in NYC Navigating a Herpes Diagnosis

I specialize in working with individuals who are struggling after receiving a genital herpes diagnosis. If this is you, you’re likely feeling hopeless, isolated, and unsure how to even begin processing what’s happened—let alone how to talk to someone else about it.

You might be telling yourself that you “should’ve known better” or “should’ve been more careful,” but here's the truth: you’re not alone, and you're not the only one. This diagnosis does not mean the end of your dating life. It doesn’t mean you’re unlovable or undesirable. And it definitely doesn’t mean you have to go through this alone.

Therapy Can Help You Get Your Confidence Back

Here’s what therapy can look like for you:

• A safe, confidential space where you can speak honestly—no shame, no judgment, no pressure.

• Practical support for navigating the mental health impact of this diagnosis: grief, depression, anxiety, isolation, and identity.

• Help untangling the “what ifs” and worst-case scenarios you play out in your mind.

• Support in rebuilding your self-esteem so that you feel like yourself again.

• Tools to talk about your diagnosis with potential partners in a way that’s confident, respectful, and grounded in truth—not fear.

You may not feel it yet, but it is possible to date again. I’ve seen it happen. Not once or twice—countless times. I’ve helped men find their voice, reclaim their sense of masculinity, and walk into relationships with honesty and pride.

This Doesn’t Have to Be the End of Your Story

I’ve been working with individuals diagnosed with herpes for over 20 years. I’ve walked alongside people at their lowest, when the shame felt unbearable and the future looked impossible. And I’ve seen those same people step into lives filled with connection, love, and deep confidence—not in spite of their diagnosis, but because they did the brave work of facing it.

You don’t have to figure it all out today. You just have to take the next right step. That might mean having one conversation with someone who gets it. Who sees this whole picture. Who knows the way through.

Ready to Take That Step?

If you're in NYC and struggling to imagine dating with herpes, I’d love to connect with you. You deserve support, healing, and hope. Let's talk about what your next chapter could look like.

Schedule your free 15-minute phone consultation today and let’s talk about how I can help: Contact Me Here

Frequently Asked Questions

Is it even possible to date again after a herpes diagnosis?
Yes. Many people date, fall in love, and build fulfilling sexual and romantic relationships after a diagnosis. Therapy helps you move through the fear and shame into openness and a reconnection with self-worth.

Will you tell me what to say to potential partners?
We’ll talk through different options so you can speak confidently and with integrity. No scripts—just real language that feels authentic to you.

Can therapy help with my anxiety and depression too?
Absolutely. The emotional impact of herpes often overlaps with depression, anxiety, and self-worth issues. We’ll address it all.

Do I have to tell anyone I’m working with a therapist?
No. Everything in therapy is confidential. You are not required to disclose that you’re getting support to anyone.

I’m functioning okay at work—do I really need therapy?
“Functioning” and “thriving” are two different things. If you’re lying awake at night and living with daily dread, therapy can help you lift that heaviness.

I feel so much shame. Will that ever go away?
Shame is common, but it doesn’t have to stay. We’ll work together to build self-compassion and a healthier sense of identity.

What if I’ve never been to therapy before?
That’s totally okay. I’ll walk you through the process and answer any questions. You don’t need experience—just a willingness to talk.

How do I schedule a consult?
Head over to my contact page and schedule a free 15-minute consultation. It’s simple, confidential, and low-pressure.

Do you work only with straight men?
I welcome anyone navigating herpes-related shame and dating challenges. I also work with women and the LGBTQ community.