Counseling for Gay/Bi and Trans Men

You don’t have to carry it all alone — especially when parts of your history still shape how you move through the world today.

Maybe you’re navigating anxiety, relationship struggles, a recent breakup, questions around intimacy or desire — or just a sense that you’re stuck in patterns that don’t feel good. You might not come to therapy to talk about identity, but you want a space where all of you — including your history, your sexuality, and your values — can safely exist.

Many of the men I work with are gay, bi, or trans — often raised in faith-based or conservative communities where it was hard to fully be themselves. Some arrive ready to unpack that history. Others begin with different concerns and bring it in gradually. Either way, it’s welcome here.

I’m a straight woman, not part of the queer community, but I have specific experience supporting men who grew up in evangelical Christian environments and are still working through the emotional and relational impact of those experiences. Clients have told me they appreciate having a therapist who is warm, engaged, and able to hold the complexity of both the painful and meaningful parts of their past with respect and care.

If that resonates with you, I’d be honored to support your work.

I'm excited to support you on your journey.

Let's talk. Contact me for a free consultation.

To learn more about my special areas of practice with gay/bi and trans-men, see below:

Areas of Practice

Christian Faith and Spirituality

Depression

Anxiety

Relationship Issues

Finding Love

Sexual Health

Compulsive Sexual Behavior

Methamphetamines

If you grew up in a conservative Christian faith community, you have likely experienced a lot of pain around your sexuality or gender expression. You may have experienced rejection. You might have prayed that God would change you. You might still be hiding who you are. These communities are often sources of strength and closeness, they provide the foundations for which you live your life. To not belong feels threatening and painful. If faith is important, you may want to find a way to heal those wounds and rediscover a Christian faith that embraces you. I practice affirmative therapy, which holds a positive view of LGBTQ identities. I deeply value providing guidance along the faith journey for gay/bi and trans men.

Depression can cause low mood, withdraw from people or activities, procrastination, and endless Netflix binges. I have helped gay/bi and trans men who are experiencing depression feel hope and motivation again. Exploring depression's primary causes can help bring deep healing. Sometimes it leads back to low self-esteem or a relationship or circumstance in our past that has led to inaccurate beliefs about ourselves. Healing these experiences while also using new cognitive and behavioral tools can help someone depressed feel hope again.

Anxiety can affect areas of our lives like sleep, our ability to focus, or feeling secure in relationships. Anxiety sometimes keeps us stuck from making progress, or engaging in activities or projects we need or want to be involved in. Healing from experiences that have contributed to anxiety are so important and learning tools to begin managing these thoughts and feelings can make a real difference.

Relationships are deeply important to those who work with me. We all need others. We are social beings. We care what others think of us. We want to be valuable to the people we love. We don’t want to hurt them. And we want to protect ourselves from people who will hurt us. Many mental health concerns circle back to our relationships. Healing old relationship wounds, breaking patterns that aren’t working, and cultivating healthy relationship skills are the foundation of my work with clients. Imagine feeling effective in your communication, able to deal with conflict, secure and confident with others, a sense of deep self-acceptance, and being able to move toward intimacy with others who have the capacity to do the same.

Finding love in New York City is tough! I love helping men who are seeking intimacy and companionship through a long-term relationship discover why they keep meeting the wrong partners and make changes that help them have the kind of relationship they desire. When romantic encounters aren't turning into the kind of relationship you are hoping for, there is often a pattern of being attracted to partners who aren’t a great fit emotionally. It’s important to explore this, understand what your patterns are, and learn how to shift them. We develop relational patterns at a very young age but you can change these patterns and start choosing partners who share the desire for the kind of love and companionship that you do.

Our sexuality is a core component of our lives. No matter what your experience, it’s my goal to help you to feel safe and free from shame. I have lots of experience helping clients cope with the experience of having an STI, including HIV. I’ve also helped clients who have had emotionally painful experiences surrounding sex. It’s a passion of mine to support clients in becoming empowered around their sexuality and choices, to heal shame, and to be able to express their values, needs, desires, and boundaries, and to know that these things matter and deserve respect.

Many people ask me how compulsive sexual behavior (or what some people call sex addiction) is defined. This is important because we don’t want to stigmatize interest in sex, high sex drive, frequent enjoyment of sex, or experiences between consenting adults. Many people rightly question the concept of sex addition. Sexuality and diversity around sexual experiences should be celebrated and enjoyed. When people seek help from me for compulsive sexual behavior, it is usually because their thoughts and behaviors around sex are interfering with other important areas of their life, such as work, personal commitments, or family responsibilities. In some cases, people feel they are being unsafe in ways that would like to change. I take a sex positive approach to talking about these concerns, and we try to look at what is really going on without shaming sexuality. If you are distressed because you feel unsafe or you have problems managing your other responsibilities, I’d love to help you work through this.

Are you concerned about your use of methamphetamines? I know you probably never thought of yourself as someone who would be here. Most of the clients I've worked with never saw themselves as someone who would have difficulty with abstaining from a substance like meth. Many gay men I’ve worked with use meth about 1x per month, often in social or sexual encounters. Some use more frequently. What most men I work with hate about using is that coming down can feel terrible and recovery can last days, interfering with other parts of their life. One time per month or even less can still have a great impact on your world when it's so hard to bounce back. I have training and experience in the area of substance use and have worked with many men who desire to abstain from meth. Often, it's not that you are physiologically dependent on the substance, but certain situations create a mental trigger to use. Our work will explore these triggers and offer you skills to manage them more successfully.

Ready to Take the Next Step

If you are ready for this journey, I’d love to talk with you. Contact me for a brief phone consultation to see if we are a good fit.